last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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