i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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