Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
