The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
