I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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