I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
