Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
