Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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