And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
