i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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