My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
