I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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