between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
