you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
