All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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