His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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