It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
