making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
