How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
