Pappa wants mamma naked
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
