how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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