Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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