so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
