do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
