I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
