I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
