I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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