Where is the hickey?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
