I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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