Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
