Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
