You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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