when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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