I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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