it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
