somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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