Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
