no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
