id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
