The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
