he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
