I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
