oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
