well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
