at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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