So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
