Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
