They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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