Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
