I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
