I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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