just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
